User Profile

Well I don't really know when I was conceived, I figure it was some time in May, which explains why I hate turtles. Throughout my life I was picked on for picking my scabs and having big eyes. It wasn't until the fourth grade that i realized I had a penis and I kept my hands on it for a year straight. Starting in the fifth grade I learned that if I stretch my penis out I could stick it up my ass, usually if you see my walking around my own dick is up my ass. I have been described my many psychologists as an autosexual, (one who is in love and makes love to them self through excess masturbation) however I don't think that aptly describes myself. I dont masturbate often because my hand would smell like shit, and in an ideal world if I had it my way I would actually clone myself and start a relationship with my clone. I haven't seen my twin brother in 11 years. I currently live with an inuit relative and we actively audition on the reality TV circuit. You may have seen my inuit relative on an episode of fear factor, he was the inuit. However I haven't been so luck, although I was selected to do an episode of blind date I realized I couldn't even fathom the notion of dating someone else and they didn't even have enough footage for the blooper real cause the date ended so quickly. Just recently I sent in a tape to MTV trying to get on an episode of I Want a Famous Face, however I don't think they will take it too seriously, i asked them to document my transition as I become myself. Basically my life is full of failed auditions, I once auditioned for a role in a pornography but I found that the competition was too stiff and Tommy Lee got the role. My next endeavor that I plan to tackle is to panhandle until I can raise $300 and purchase a car from a junkyard, then send in a tape to MTV to have them pimp my ride, then I intend on selling the car on Ebay. I will fill in evryone on my success or failurs as they come to be.

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